There’s Very Little Bread in These Gym Mats

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What pretty much everybody with taste buds knew a long time ago, as comedian and rabble-rouser zilch Jim Norton once ranted, Subway’s sandwiches are extremely “bready”. What we didn’t know until recently was that said bread happens to contain a chemical which is also found in rubber boots as well as yoga mats. No wonder they’ve hired professional athletes like Blake Griffin and Justin Tuck to give the image that their nasty food is healthy (even the new sandwich which actually has Fritos sprinkled on top of their judiciously measured out, hopefully not day(s) old meat). Jared Fogle not only ate one Subway six inch turkey club with no toppings or dressings a day, had AIDES and probably liposuction to lose all that weight, he was literally EATING YOGA MATS. If doing yoga is good for the body, imagine what EATING YOGA MATS can do for it! Especially if you wash it down with plenty of Malk.

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The shredded newspaper is worth it for all the benefits that come from all that Vitamin R!

Norton’s rant:

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