Who could forget the CLASSIC Simpsons episode “I Love Lisa”. Lisa gives Ralph the valentine after she sees that he hadn’t receive any in class out of pure sympathy. Of course little Ralphie Wiggum, being the complete lovable inept moron that he is, reads WAY too far into that valentine and relentlessly pursues poor Lisa. It did say “I choo choo choose you”, total lead on. Of course he stalks her the whole way home unto which she tries to calmly get out of the situation by telling him that she just isn’t ready for a relationship. Of course Ralph goes home and talks to his father about how to make a girl fall in love with him. “LET THAT BE A LESSON TO THE REST OF YOU NUTS”. Anyways, Chief Wiggum uses his power as the chief of police to gain tickets to the upcoming Krusty 29th Anniversary Special. He also uses his power by forcing Miss Hoover into choosing Ralph to play the lead in the Presidental school play (SOMEONE’S GOT TO YOU, YOU DECEITFUL COW!) and cast Lisa as his counterpart. Ralph receives the notorious honor of playing George Washington and Lisa gets stuck with the role of Martha Washington his *WIFE*!
Of course Lisa reluctantly agrees to attend the Krusty show, she bursts into an outrage that she NEVER loved him and completely humiliates him on national television “Look Lisa you can pin point the EXACT moment his heart rips in half!” Lisa tries to make amends with Ralph before the play but he ends up ignoring her, focusing on his upcoming role as George Washington. Little Ralphie gives a stellar performance that leaves everyone in tears including Groundskeeper Willie (YA USEEEEED ME SKINNER!). Afterwards Lisa hands Ralph a card that says “Lets Bee Friends” and he finally agrees to their friendship. *cue the Monster Mash song, which Marty the DJ accidentally chose for the radio*
The Lesson? ALWAYS VET YOUR VALENTINES DAY CARDS BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW HOW SOMEONE WILL REACT TO YOUR SYMPATHETIC GESTURE!