Where do I EVEN begin!? After American slopestyle skiing trio of Joss Christensen, Gus Kenworthy and Nick Goepper swept up the medals in this Olympic event (which has only be done 3 other times in American History), they sought out their celebrity crushes with a little help of NBCs twitter account. Obviously, nothing became of it (that we know of). Heres why:
1.) Emma Watson has a boyfriend (ditch the dude bitch! This guy just won a gold medal and wants you to be his valentine!)
2.) Miley Cyrus couldn’t be reached for a comment, she was reportedly hopped up on molly swinging naked from a wrecking ball.
3.) Taylor Swift was too busy reveling in her newly chopped coif. Truthfully Taylor if you don’t jump on Nick Goeppers shit, I’ll gladly take your place! *WHATTA DREAMBOAT*. Actually don’t. We really don’t need you to suck this kids soul out with your vapid listless eyes and record another studio album.
Nice try boys…..