Joffrey. Cersei. Tywin Lannister. The Red Woman. I can’t sleep until I’ve said the names.
As if I wasn’t hype enough going into a brand new trailer for Season 4 of Game of Thrones (IMMEDIATELY PRECEDING TRUE DETECTIVE NO LESS), it immediately starts off with Arya reading her “list of evil bastards to kill”. FUCK YEAH. Now, not unlike everyone’s favorite little water dancer if you’re anything like me, you now can’t sleep either. If this lasts until 45 minutes after True Detective, consult your local Maester. It’s nothing that some Milk of the Poppy can’t take care of. Now, onto the stray observations which ONCE AGAIN CONTAIN MASSIVE SPOILERS SO YOU’VE BEEN WARNED TWICE NOW:
-The first trailer didn’t show Sansa at all, but here we see her in a boat presumably escaping King’s Landing following the events of The Purple Wedding. With so many epic events and storylines upcoming this season, it’s easy for Sansa’s to get lost in the shuffle. But, I actually enjoyed her storyline with Littlefinger in the novels and I think Sophie Turner will get a chance to shine this year.
-Speaking of The Purple Wedding, it’s being reported that the event itself will take up roughly half of an episode, which has very rarely been done. From everything I’ve seen in previews so far, visually it looks amazing. I wonder how graphic they will make Joffrey’s death as I feel like many fans of the show are rooting for the kid to go out like Chef in South Park at this point. Book Joffrey was a horrible sociopathic little shit for sure, but show Joffrey and Jack Gleeson’s terrific acting have made him one of the most despicable characters in recent television history.
-On the subject of earth shatteringly epic scenes from the second half of A Storm of Swords, every time I see footage of the battle between Oberyn Martell and The Mountain I get a little bit more excited. This sequence in the book is legitimately one of the most exciting things I have ever read in my entire life, and I trust that this show and it’s fantastic directors will do it justice. Also, they’ve recast The Mountain to an even more enormous actor and Pedro Pascal should quickly become a fan favorite as he looks like a great casting choice as the Red Viper. Finally, it looks like the Mountain is wearing armor in this scene which means that Martell will be as badass as he is in the book and will also come equipped with his poison tipped spear.
– “If you want justice, you’ve come to the wrong place.” In this trailer, we also get our first shot of Shae (specifically in a scene in which she is seductively sitting on a bed). To a non-book reader this may seem entirely innocent, even inconsequential. However, if my suspicions are correct about which scene this is, it is faaaaar from inconsequential. What will be interesting to me is how the writers can get the Shae character to a point where she would betray Tyrion to the point of sleeping with his father. Show Shae seems to actually care for Tyrion and has overall been a much bigger character than she was in the books. The only thing I can think of is that her jealousy is fueled to a breaking point because of Tyrion’s forced relationship with Sansa (this could be doubly hurtful to her since we’ve seen her become somewhat of an older-sister figure for Sansa as well). Also, it’s obviously going to be an awesome scene but losing Tywin is going to suck because Charles Dance has been absolutely magnificent in the role. His scenes during Season 2 with Maisie Williams (which weren’t in the books of course) remain some of my all time favorite.
-Episode 9, which up until this point every year has been “the episode where major shit goes down” will most likely be the battle at the Wall, which was also one the most awesomely action packed sequences in the book (if you couldn’t tell, A Storm of Swords is my favorite book ever, ever). Benioff and Weiss are bringing in the same director that filmed the Battle of the Blackwater, so it’s certainly in good hands. Another relationship that’s been stronger on screen than on print is that between Jon and Ygrette (due largely to the chemistry between Kit Harrington and Rose Leslie. This, of course, will make her death during the battle that much more gut-wrenching. Thank you very much George R.R. Martin you awful human being (if you EVER kill Tyrion or Arya I WILL snap your suspenders and steal your fat man hat).
-“I will do what queens do. I will rule.” I feel like this quote, along with the image of the (now menacing) dragons flying over Westeros are planting the thought in non-readers’ minds that Dany will be on her way to invading this season. In reality, we are 2.5 books later and that still hasn’t happened, so this is in all likelihood a red herring. But then again the show and the book are separate entities so at the very least, maybe we see Drogon escape and fly over King’s Landing (or something to that effect)?
-Two very minor quibbles: Theon/Reek looks way too healthy for what that sick fuck Ramsay has done to him but it will be interesting to see how Alfie Allen plays it. Also, Bran straight up looks like a strange looking girl (but that’s puberty for you).
-“The day will come when your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth.” Cersei turning Tyrion’s words back around on him! It’s going to be a rough season for Tyrion. Where is the God of Tits and Wine?!
-That’s all I got for now. There’s no chance that this season isn’t going to be fucking awesome and April 6th seriously needs to hurry up and get here. Valar Morghulis.