KoRn Singer Says That President Obama Uses Miley Cyrus to Distract Americans



KoRn (I’m sorry, if I knew how to type a backwords “R” I totally would!) frontman Jonathan Davis made headlines for the first time since…the Family Values Tour I guess (or when I locked myself in my room blaring “Alone I Break” on my Walkman because I didn’t slowdance with my crush), with recent comments about how he believes President Obama uses celebrities like Miley Cyrus to distract Americans from what’s really going on.

“I think that our government uses those people to distract from what’s really going on…the thing with Miley Cyrus at the VMAs, when that went down, I think Barack Obama passed a law that he is basically a dictator, he can imprison whoever he wants, he doesn’t have to charge them, he can hold them as long as he wants.”

I actually tend to agree with his overall point that the mainstream media spends waaaay too much time “reporting” on meaningless crap (seriously, why in God’s name would Justin Bieber ever need to be on CNN? VENEZUELA AND THE UKRAINE ARE LITERALLY BEING TORN APART AND WE’RE TALKING ABOUT HONEY BOO BOO. WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE REPORT ON THE VENEZUELAN AND UKRAINIAN CHILDREN (I’m looking at you Piers Morgan)?! Ahem.

Now, I’ve often been referred to by friends as a “bleeding heart liberal” and even I blame Obama every time I stub my toe on the coffee table. And as much as I enjoy the image of him with his hand on “the button” that controls Robot Miley Cyrus (MUAHAHA TWERK MILEY, MILEY, MILEY TWERK!) from his evil Dr. Claw-like lair,


I think he’s too busy ordering drone strikes on small bridal parties (just kidding, NSA *nervous laughter*) and water-boarding Harrelson and McConaughey into signing on for Season 2 of “True Detective” to actually be controlling specific events like The VMA Twerk Heard Round the World so that he can pass controversial legislature. Besides, anybody who hasn’t been living in a crater on the moon with their eyes closed and and their hands over their ears is aware that some shady things have been going on for quite sometime. No amount of pancake ass is going to make the SHEEPLE overlook the daily frightening stories that are posted pretty much everywhere that isn’t the MSM (AKA THE INTERWEBZ). Plus I think the human race as a whole can agree that if Obama should apologize for anything it should be Fred “I’m the Worst” Durst. Just kidding, we all know Obama inherited Nu-Meta from Bush (OF COURSE).  Also, yes that’s what Fred Durst looks like now.


So now that I’ve pissed off liberals, KoRn fans and I’m sure given this site’s hip-hop dominant content I’ve already repelled the Illuminati crew, it looks like all I have left is the right wingers (as well as alcoholics, angry loners and the unemployable). Great, so now I’m going to have to post LL Cool J/Brad Paisely videos to cater to my new Tea Party Overlords. DID YOU GUYZ SEE HANNITY THE OTHER DAY?!  T.J. Oshie for President.

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