Category Archives: Movies & Television

‘How I Met Your Mother’ Season Finale Recap

Last Forever Part One

 

OK, so alot of you fans are probably pissed off and alot of you are happy with the shows ending wrapped in a nice neat bow.  Now, before I go off on my classic long winded tirades, I just have to point out that if you are a semi fan or a full blown fan of the show, YOU HAD TO SEE THAT COMING!  No??  First off, in the very first episode, Ted sits his kids down to talk about how he met their mother.  Clue #1:  Shes dead already.  Many many fans have been wildly speculating that shes been dead the whole time.  Only to find out 9 years later that she is in fact DEAD.  Span the entire series, (I refuse to go into season and episode detail) you see Ted constantly having run-ins with Robin.  We ALL knew Ted was in love with Robin.  They date, they break up, they date, they break up…. blah blah blah.  Robin ends up marrying Barney, despite  knowing full well that Ted is the man for her.  BUT I DIGRESS.  I for one, understand the people that were pissed off.  Too much happened in the last episode and wasn’t properly fleshed out.  They should have taken the entire season to flesh out ‘The Mother’.  We saw random glimpses of her and then she dies.  Which I also understand is annoying in and of itself.  What is a very tragic life event OR SHOULD HAVE BEEN PORTRAYED, was swept under the rug.  So lets discuss a few things:

1.) Robin and Barney get divorced:  After three years of a ‘successful marriage’ the two divorce after Robin finds out that work is more important to her.  *Shocking* Robin and her damn job always get in the way of relationships.  Daddy issues much? Which leads me to my next point

2.) Barney becomes a DADDY!?:  After 9 years, an engagement to a stripper, a marriage to Robin and countless hook-ups including the 31 broads in 31 days.  The 31st broad holds the golden ticket and has a baby girl.  Now, im shocked that this didn’t happen earlier! How many women can you possibly bang and not knock up ONE.  Maybe the writers felt the need to end his era, but the Barney we knew has now morphed into a dad who instead of trying to bang the young girls at the bar, is scolding them for being out at the bar.  Weird.

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3.) Teddy gets married FINALLY:  God, after the 9 years of broads we have endured with Barney, Ted finally meets the mother and weds.  Thus producing the two kids we see in the beginning of the show.  Looking awfully depressed listening to their father ramble on about the elusive way he met their mother.  Can you imagine being stuck on a couch for 9 whole years listening to your dad aka Bob Sagets voice tell you about how he met your mother? I’d blow my brains out.  BTW, Poor Bob Saget, he ALWAYS ends up the widow stuck with the kids in his television shows.  You people should have seen this coming when his voice piped in on the very first episode (IS THAT BOB SAGET?! OH THE MOTHER IS SOOOO ALREADY DEAD… AINT YOU SEEN FULL HOUSE?! HAVE MERCY!)

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4.) Teddys wifey Tracy is dead:  Again we’ve already known this, since like day one.  Well, anyone who thought about it should have known it from day one.  Of course the love of Teds life has to die.  OF COURSE.  Thus, him telling his children the story so that they knew just how much he loved their mother.”This is a story about how you are totally in love with Aunt Robin and you are thinking of asking her out,” his daughter says.  After losing their mother six years ago, the children in turn tell Teddy boy that its OKAY to go after Aunt Robin.  *Cue the Violins.. or should I say Blue French Horn*  The final scene shows Ted showing up to Robins house, with the blue french horn, her head out the window smiling.

 

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SO…there you have it folks.  Love it or leave it.

 

Bill Murray golfs in PBR Pants

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Again… I just have NO WORDS for this outfit.  Has this man lost his mind?! Actually…. truthfully speaking, when did Bill Murray ever have his mind? Im just gunna go with it. Those pants are AWESOME.  He just didn’t coordinate it well with the zip up.   Who makes such lovely pants and then doesn’t create a jacket to go with it? I mean, lets be honest here.  Imagine the WHOLE ensemble.

Full House’s Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky ALMOST became a couple in real life!

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Last year in an interview, John Stamos boggled everyones minds by calling Lori Loughlin “the one that got away.” So needless to say you media hounds ran with it, and caught up with Lori Loughlin and asked her what that meant.  Her explanation? “I was married at the time I was doing the show to my first husband. Right as I was getting divorced, he met Rebecca.” (He was married to Rebecca Romijn aka Mystique from 1998-2005). Then in 1997, Lori married her husband, Mossimo Giannulli.  They’ve been married for 17 years.  SO OBVIOUSLY things turned out pretty good for her and her marriage (but I will always root for their demise so that I can once again see Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky REUNITE).   AT ANY RATE…. it’s very clear the two both thought about it, and though timing may have kept them apart, she freely admits he was the hottest member of the cast. (Yeah…. like thats a hard one to judge) Until then I’ll just re-watch the Jimmy Fallon epsiode where ‘Jesse and the Rippers’ reunite and Aunt Becky smooches him on stage after the show!  HAVE MERCY! 

 

Internet Shares Film of Strangers Experiencing a ‘First Kiss’

Film brings together young, old, straight, gay, lesbian biracial pairings and simply directs them to kiss.

This is the BEST thing I have ever seen.  Tatia Pilieva (the director) takes people off the street and just asks them to kiss.  I mean WHY NOT?! Some of them share little pecks and others full on make out.  Either way, its just a cute video that’s generating a lot of buzz.  Its better than watching the 5’oclock news and seeing horrible stories of war.  Nice to know humanity is still intact, AND willing to make out with each other should someone randomly ask you to.

Brittany Murphy’s Final Film Being Released Four Years After Her Death

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Its been more than four  years since Brittany Murphy’s death, and her final film has a release date.  ‘Something Wicked’  will hit theaters April 4th in Eugene, Oregon, at the Regal Valley River Center 15.  That location was specifically chosen to honor where the movie was filmed back in 2009.  The movie will then roll out to other Regal Cinemas in Portland and Seattle in the following weeks, with more theaters to come at a later date.

The indie film synopsis per IMDb: “As a young couple embarks upon their wedding plans, gruesome secrets from their past collide with sinister forces of the present to ensure these newlyweds do not live “happily-ever-after.”  ‘Something Wicked’ also stars ‘One Tree Hill’s’, Shantel VanSanten and ‘Pretty Little Liars’, Julian Morris.  If Murphy was good at anything it was acting in crazy roles.  Hopefully, this movie will gain a lot of attention and be released nationwide.  According to the films Facebook account, “The better we do in theaters, the more cities will be added so we need your help getting the word out. Full press release to be posted shortly. Stay Wicked!”

The actress passed away due to pneumonia, anemia and multiple drug intoxication.  Her husband, Simon Monjack, died 5 months later of pneumonia and anemia as well.  I still maintain that’s some crazy shit they died of the same causes.  Murphy’s father has expressed to media outlets he believed they were poisoned but a coroner ruled that out.  Regardless, she was a phenomenal actress and I cannot wait to see this movie!

 

 

Raid of Mexican Drug Lord’s Mansion Results in Pile of Money That Puts Walter White to Shame

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A raid of the mansion of the man responsible for importing the ephedrine precursor for the Mexican Sinaloa Cartel turned up, amongst other incredible things, this gigantic king-bed sized pile of cash (although it’s hard to tell without Huel and Bill Burr available for scale)

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The rest of the items seized at Zhenli Yi Gon’s mansion included: a vast collection of rare and expensive guns, a man-made cave including a hot tub and a group of exotic animals including 8 lions and an extremely rare tiger.

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More pics of what was seized at the mansion: http://imgur.com/a/DYU2e

He may have made a fortune off the pain and suffering of others but there’s one thing he couldn’t buy….A DINOSAUR!. Plus I bet being able to own anything your heart desires with your vast amount of ridiculous wealth isn’t nearly as morally rewarding as being an amateur blogger (*silently weeps into cereal*)! I can only hope that the pile of cash (which has hopefully been sprayed for silverfish) is being distributed amongst orphanages, cancer research labs and puppy dog/candy/fireworks stores however something tells me it’s actually more dangerous in the hands of the government. WAR ON DRUGS, FOUR DECADES STRONG WOO!

The Americans Season 2, Episode 3 “The Walk In” Recap

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This marks my first recap of FX’s ”The Americans” as I’ve just caught up thanks to a 3 day binge viewing (truly the best way to watch any series) of the first season as well as the first couple of episodes of Season 2. So now that I’m up to speed, and with “True Detective” over and “Game of Thrones” still a few weeks away, I thought that I would start recapping a show that has quickly become one of my favorites.

This week we see Paige act on her growing suspicions of her parents by taking a solo trip out to “Aunt Helen’s house” (the same “Aunt Helen” that Phillip and Elizabeth claimed to be taking care of when Elizabeth was being tended to for the bullet wound  she suffered in the finale of Season 1). As Paige gets older and more perceptive to her parent’s erratic behavior she’s also becoming bolder in her actions to find out the truth: at this point she suspects that one of them is having an affair, but what’s important is that she suspects that anything is amiss. When Paige arrives at her destination what follows is a confusing scene in which a disoriented old woman, who happens to have a picture of Elizabeth holding a baby framed on her wall, and apparently  thinks that Paige is her daughter.  It turns out that “Aunt Helen” exists, however she appears to be a KGB plant just in case Phillip and Elizabeth needed such an out. Paige may be feeling twinges of suspicion, however her parents are very good at what they do and it seems that they are one step ahead of even those closest to them from finding out the truth.

Later on we see “Aunt Helen”, who’s not nearly as out of it as she seemed in her earlier encounter with Paige, phone Phillip and let him know that his daughter has come to pay her a visit. This results in Phillip calling Paige’s bluff and visibly becoming more irate with each lie that his daughter tells him with regards to her whereabouts earlier that afternoon. His entire adult life may be one big fabrication, but he’ll be damned if he’s going to allow his daughter to lie straight to his face. This scene also reminded me strongly of the relationship between Meadow Soprano and Tony. Both in terms of the “do as I say, not as I do” regard as well as in a fatherly desire to shield his daughter from the dangerous secrets that their line of work entail.

Speaking of that dangerous work, we follow Phillip and Elizabeth to a plant where they are to gather more information regarding propellers that honestly I have little idea about at this point. This scene becomes increasingly tenser as a mechanic finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time and begins asking questions. Before long, despite being outweighed and recovering from injury, Elizabeth grabs hold of a tire iron and suddenly it becomes crystal clear to this man that he does not want to mess with these people. He even resorts to telling her that he has a family, complete with showing her pictures of his three sons (one of which Elizabeth even takes with her to drive home the point that he better keep his mouth shut). This is interesting for the fact that we’ve seen Elizabeth in the past simply react to situations like these with immediate action regardless of any collateral damage that may cause.

We find out in flashback scenes that Elizabeth never really wanted children, and much in the way that she “accepted” Phillip as her husband it seems she initially did the same with her children. They started out as simply more window dressing as her cover as an American while she carried out her duties for the greater good of Mother Russia. However, it’s clear that the deaths of her friends, Emmett and Leanne (and especially their teenage daughter) have really had an impact on Elizabeth. Echoing the sentiment that her mentor in Russia told her several episodes ago, regardless or not if you start out loving someone after enough time of taking care of that person you will grow to care about them. She and Phillip have always known that they may have to be forced to sacrifice their lives for the choices they have made, but it seems for the first time the fact that if that were to happen that Paige and Henry would be left to fend for themselves in an increasingly dangerous world.

Elizabeth sees a glimpse of this potential future in the form of Jared, Emmet and Leanne’s son who is now forced to live in a group home due to the fact that his parents (much like Elizabeth and Phillip) never made any “true” American friends. Although he seems to be adjusting as well as someone in his unenviable situation could be, Elizabeth decides to break her promise to her deceased friend and burn the letter that she was asked to give to Jared that would have exposed the true identities of his parents as Russian spies. Elizabeth seems to be tapping into a maternal instinct to protect the boy from further confusion and heartache. After all, like her own two children, Jared has grown up in a world in which “Commies” are the bad guys.

Stray Observations:

-I’ve been having a tough time getting a read on Oleg, the new brash new addition to the Russian KGB Center, but it’s becoming clear that he may be yet another person (in addition to Stan and Arkady) that has dirt on Nina. His seemingly innocent offer of scalping some hockey tickets could imply he knows about her past transgressions. Nina is already in a pretty delicate balancing act and adding one more person into the mix can’t be any good for her.

-Speaking of Nina, I’m also struggling to get a read on her. Her information regarding the “Walk-In” from last episode (a Purple Heart Vietnam Vet working for the World Bank looking for help from the KGB) ultimately leads Stan to foiling his assassination plot (of World Bank employees as well as potentially President Reagan). She has fulfilled her obligations to Stan, at the expense of her own country while she is trying to convince Arkady that she is really the one working Stan over. Also, as she is typing the report of the information Stan conveys to her during an intimate moment a slight smile appears on her face. Does she still have feelings for Stan, the man that she’s supposed to be plotting against, the only thing that can save her life after her confession to Arkady that she was the mole? This will be interesting to watch in the coming weeks.

-I’m not sure what we’re supposed to make of Paige’s new friend that she met on the bus. It is interesting that while her parents are busy being immersed in their work, she is able to sneak right out the front door. This isn’t the first time their children have been potentially been put into dangerous situations, especially last year when they were stranded at the mall and hitched a ride with that creep, and it promises to be a theme that resonates throughout the show.

-I had to Google Dennis Maruk after Oleg brought him up. Guy looks like he was an animal:

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-I don’t think that Henry will catch the “Chris Brody syndrome” of the younger son becoming more and more irrelevant as I think that he has a major role to play before this story plays out, but this week’s Polaris subplot (although thematically relevant) wasn’t exactly enthralling.

“True Detective’s” Marty Hart Reacts to The Red Wedding (SPOILER ALERT)

With all due respect to “Justified”, “The Americans”, “Archer” and all of the other fine shows that don’t air on FX, we now find ourselves in a bit of an entertainment vacuum following the end of “True Detective” and awaiting the start of “Game of Thrones”. At least we can all take solace for a few glorious minutes in the fact that the wonderful people of the internet have found a way to combine the two smash hit HBO shows. Mart Hart adds his contribution to the ever-popular “Red Wedding Reaction” videos. By the way, make sure to keep those cameras rolling for the majority of Season 4 you magnificently evil trolls.

Most Hated Man in Jeopardy! History

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“If you`ve been watching Jeopardy lately you`ve seen Arthur Chu tear up the game and stir up chatter. Chu, 30, an insurance compliance analyst and aspiring actor, has won $102,800 in four Jeopardy! appearances.His playing strategy “- jumping around the board instead of running categories straight down, betting odd amounts on Daily Doubles and doing a final wager to tie. He has fans calling him a villain and smug. Other fans are hailing him as a hero and swag lord.”  –USA Today

Most of you Jeopardy! fans have already heard about our little friend Arthur Chu and his inane ability to destroy categories by going in an erratic way (he clears out the bottom two rows) which is NOT very good Jeopardy! etiquette.  (YES THERE IS JEOPARDY ETIQUETTE!)  By clearing out the categories from the bottom two rows across, he acquires the ‘Daily Double’ fairly faster than anyone else.  He uses these to his advantage.  He bets all or nothing. All. The. Time.  Except the one time that he be a mere $5 dollars on a Sports question he knew nothing about.  Lets be honest people, thats annoying in and of itself.  BUT, that doesn’t even take the cake! He cuts off Alex Trebek mid sentence, without letting him finish reading the clue in its entirety!!! *loud gasp*  

His face alone annoys me, but the fact that he doesn’t properly descend down the categories, furiously pushes on his buzzer AND cuts of Alex Trebek mid sentence to get to the next clue puts him in my most hated man in Jeopardy! slot.  Move over Ken Jennings… theres a new man in town.

‘Game of Thrones’ Season 4: First four episode synopses revealed

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Winter is coming

‘Game of Thrones’ Season 4, Episode 1, “Two Swords,” will premiere on April 6 at 9:00 p.m. on HBO.

HBO’s ‘Game of Thrones’ has set up all the major players in the newly released synopses for the first four episodes.

The majority of the action in ‘Game of Thrones’ Season 4 is largely in part inspired by the second half of  the third installment ‘A Storm of Swords’ by George R.R. Martin.  Supposedly, fans who have read the books (like me and my comrade Langdon) will be surprised by excitement packed into this new season.  As we’ve seen in Seasons past, the majority of the episodes 1-7 are a tumultuous builder to the finale aka episode 8.  HBO directors David Benioff and D.B. Weiss have already said that each episode is going to be much like a finale in and of itself.  Thank God.  I for one am SO tired of seeing Theon being tortured.  He’s already lost his “little friend”, what more could Ramsay Snow do to him?!

The individual episodes synopsis offer an extremely broad and coy (unless you’ve read the books) look into the first four episodes:

Episode One: “Two Swords”

Tyrion welcomes a guest to King’s Landing. At Castle Black, Jon Snow  finds himself unwelcome. Dany is pointed to Meereen, the mother of all slave cities. Arya runs into an old friend.

Episode Two: “The Lion and the Rose”

Tyrion lends Jaime  a hand. Joffrey and Margaery  host a breakfast. At Dragonstone, Stannis  loses patience with Davos.  Ramsay finds a purpose for his pet. North of the Wall, Bran sees where they must go.

Episode Three: “Breaker of Chains”

Tyrion ponders his options. Tywin  extends an olive branch. Sam  realizes Castle Black isn’t safe, and Jon proposes a bold plan. The Hound teaches Arya the way things are. Dany chooses her champion.

Episode 4: “Oathkeeper”

Dany balances justice and mercy. Jaime tasks Brienne with his honor. Jon secures volunteers while Bran, Jojen, Meera  and Hodor stumble on shelter.