Category Archives: Sports

Bill Murray golfs in PBR Pants

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Again… I just have NO WORDS for this outfit.  Has this man lost his mind?! Actually…. truthfully speaking, when did Bill Murray ever have his mind? Im just gunna go with it. Those pants are AWESOME.  He just didn’t coordinate it well with the zip up.   Who makes such lovely pants and then doesn’t create a jacket to go with it? I mean, lets be honest here.  Imagine the WHOLE ensemble.

Vince Wilfork Signs Three Year, $22.5 Contract

 

WilforkFans began panicking when word spread that Vince Wilfork and the Patriots were no longer going to be an item.  Rumors swirled of him trashing his locker, packing up his possessions, and ripping off his name plate as well. But rest easy my little Patriots fans,  Vince Wilfork and the New England Patriots finally found a deal that worked for both sides. (ALL YOU HATERS CAN TAKE BACK YOUR ANTI-WILFORK COMMENTS NOW)

“Wilfork can earn up to $8 million in 2014 as part of the extension, and the Patriots got some cap relief. Wilfork’s new contract is reportedly a one-year deal with $3 million guaranteed and a two-year option. That allows the Patriots to spread out Wilfork’s cap hit over the next three years without the risk of signing him to a longterm deal — the defensive tackle’s contract is not guaranteed after 2014.”

The Patriots get their defensive leader back (ALTHOUGH YOU CLOWNS DON’T DESERVE HIM). Wilfork is still recovering from a torn Achilles that took him out last year, so it’s not guaranteed that he will be back for training camp let alone even the start of the season. It’s likely there are playing-time incentives in Wilfork’s contract that protect the Patriots if he can’t get back on the field, because they are after all the penny pinching Patriots.

Vince…..its time to go clean up your locker, put your name plate back on and go sit in the corner and think about your actions! That was NOT the Patriot way!

 

Vince Wilfork

Mercer Buries Duke, Kevin Canevari does the ‘Nae Nae’

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My life is COMPLETE! I could careless that Mercer buried Duke, probably crushing your worthless brackets into a million pieces.  This totally trumps any and every win.  Kevin Canevari brings the “Nae Nae” to life.  To those who live under a rock, “Nae Nae” is a dance from Atlanta where you dance in a way that resembles Sha-Nae-Nae off of Martin. Typically guys do this dance which is why it makes it so hilarious.  What makes this even MORE hilarious, is this kid is whiter than snow but pulls it off better than anybody on YouTube.

Canevari, who played a whopping 13 minutes, scored 0 points, is still by far Mercer’s best player.

All NFL Coaches Get Together For Group Photo….Except ONE!

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Don’t see Bill Belichick? Awwww….that’s because he chose not to participate in the group photo.  SHOCKING.  I’m thoroughly enjoying Pete Carrolls face through this grainy photo.  At least he’s dressed respectably.  I wonder if they were strategically placed?  Look at that fabulous back row! Coach Pagano standing next to Rex Ryan *awkward faces*.  Jim Harbaugh is clearly pissed he forgot his sharpie on a rope.  Andy Reid looks fresh off a damn golf course in Hawaii and Jim Caldwell didn’t get the memo on SMILING.  SAY CHEEEEEEESE!

You Know What This Tournament Needs? More Cowbell!

In an already exciting NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament that has featured buzzer beaters, thrilling finishes and shocking upsets, a young member of the Stanford band stepped up today during the Cardinal’s upset over Kansas and provided the one thing that’s been missing from the Madness: MORE COWBELL!

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That’s solid hustle young man! I especially appreciate unsettling pause and stare at the camera at the end that makes him look like “The Grudge”:

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ZOMG HE IS A DESTROYER OF SOULS AND BRACKETS. LEAVE MY BRACKET ALONE IT’S ALREADY DEAD! Kids and their drugs. Kansas’ band obviously just didn’t bring the intensity today. I also appreciate the kid in the background who has painted his instrument (Tuba? Saxamaphone? Obomabo?) with Calvin & Hobbes. These band kids are KRAZYEEE. Way to fit the stereotype!

Let the Madness Begin

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“Round 2” (I’m still not used to calling it that SCREW PLAY IN GAMES DESPITE THAT PRETTY ENTERTAINING IOWA – TENNESSEE CONTEST LAST NIGHT) of the Big Dance kicked off with a bang earlier today when the 11th seeded Dayton Flyers out of the perfectly rated and competitive (despite what Coach K has to say) Atlantic 10 Conference topped the 6th seeded Ohio State Buckeyes. The Flyers advanced after Vee Sanford banked in a runner with 3.8 seconds and senior Aaron Craft rimmed out a desperation last second shot. With this, 80% of the nation’s elusive quest for a perfect bracket are ruined. It’s best to get the dreams of that ONE…BILLION…DOLLAR…perfect bracket dream out of our collective melon-headed daydreams and just enjoy the rest of what this glorious 4-day stretch has to offer. Unless you’re SMRT like me and picked Dayton in which case, that billion is ALL MINE.

-Here’s a clip of Sanford’s game winner:

-The A10 also Tweeted out this awesome video:

Update: Steve Smith trying to reach out to small kid devastated by his release

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A couple days ago, a video hit YouTube and has garnered attention from many media outlets including ESPN, NFL Network etc, The video shows a very upset child named Gavin, who was completely leveled by the fact his favorite team, the Carolina Panthers, released his favorite player, Steve Smith.

This video has apparently reached Steve Smith himself, as he is seeking help on Twitter to reach out to little Gavin.

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I dont know about you, but I think that is a very cool thing that Smith is doing.  Now hopefully little Gavin can seek revenge on his father, for telling him that Smith was “too old to play” (subsequently reducing him to tears), and become a Baltimore Ravens fan.  Its only fair!

 

Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay arrested

irsayjamesIndianapolis Colts owner, and cocaine aficionado, Jim Irsay has been arrested and charged with DUI and possession of a controlled substance.  Hamilton County Sheriff’s Department Deputy Bryant Orem says Irsay was arrested Sunday night in the northern Indianapolis suburb of Carmel.  It is unclear at this point what the “controlled substance” he possessed was *cough cough COCAINE cough cough*, but this obviously is not a very good situation for Irsay.  The NFL will most likely punish him for his actions perhaps a little more so than the players.  Either way, I am surprised it took this long.  If the guys incoherent Twitter ramblings haven’t tipped you off, you aren’t paying close enough attention.  Just look below at this photo of him…. Now theres a face of a great franchise. The blue hair, and the superbowl ring.  STAY CLASSY IRSAY.  Poor Andrew Luck.

WONTSOMEBODYPLEASETHINKOFTHECHILDREN!

alcoholic

DeAngelo Hall explains Twitter feud with Richard Sherman

 

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Fresh off his Twitter beef with RB LeGarrette Blount (New England) regarding the best “corner” in the league, CB Richard  Sherman (Seattle) got into yet ANOTHER Twitter feud with CB DeAngelo Hall (Washington).  I don’t know about you, but why hasn’t Jesus descended from the heavens to shut Shermans yap.  Better yet, reduce his capability of tweeting at anybody AT LEAST until football season arrives.

At any rate, Hall called into a local station to clarify what it all meant:

“I think it was just me wanting to voice my opinion and him wanting to voice his,” Hall said. “He later on came back and said well you know I feel the same way [as you do]: if you say something to me I’m gonna say something to you back. It is not anything personal. When I see him it’s not going to be a fight and a brawl. We might talk some more, have a discussion a little more, but there definitely won’t be any fisticuffs.

“You know, I had Larry Fitzgerald call me,” Hall went on. “I’m supposed to be in his softball game this summer. The same softball game that Sherman and Michael Crabtree got into it at. And [Fitzgerald] said hey, you know Crabtree’s gonna be there, Sherman’s gonna be there, you’re gonna be there, I don’t want any trouble. It’s not that kind of party bro. And I just kind of told him how it went down and he understood….

“That’s just how corners are,” Hall said. “Corners seem to think they’re all better than each other. My thing for the young fella, I just want to see him succeed. I want him to have longevity in this league, I want him to keep doing what he’s doing, because like I said, those three years have been impressive. But in order to take that step to the next level, you’ve got to add a little bit more things to your game. And I just feel like following guys around is ultimately what’s going to take him to that next level, and get teams to pay him the kind of money that he thinks he deserves.”

CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE SHUT RICHARD SHERMAN THE F&# UP ALREADY!?  Oh, wait I can.  Here is T.Y. Hilton (Indianapolis) blowing past Sherman.T.Y. Hilton, Richard Sherman

 

OH AND I’LL THROW IN BRANDON BROWNER TOO FOR THE HELL OF IT.

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BEST CORNERS IN THE LEAGUE?

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Small Kid Devastated By Steve Smith Release

In what might be the funniest/saddest things I have ever seen grace YouTube since David Goes to the Dentist, shows little Gavin absolutely devastated upon the news that Steve Smith is no longer on the Carolina Panthers.   God, I remember being his age and watching my favorite player get traded to the St. Louis Rams ( Marshall Faulk).  I cried like a baby! OK OK… I wasn’t exactly his age.  I was like 14 but IT STILL HURT nonetheless.  DONTEVENGETMESTARTEDONPEYTONMANNING! SCREW YOU BILL POLIAN WHAT DO YOU KNOW!?

I also adore Gavins little sister, Sophia, who takes the release with a grain of salt and says she’ll just cheer for Cam Newton instead.  Little Gavin however is just finished with the team completely.  *Soul Crushing*.