Part 2 of our “What the Simpsons Has Taught Us” List. No, it’s completely different from Buzzfeed. So I’m a thief am I?! WELL EXCUUUUSE MEEEE! Give ‘em ten grand.
1.) When the sign says don’t feed the bears, you better not feed the bears!
2.) Sometimes there IS harm in laying in the middle of a public street…
NOT THE ELEPHANTS!
3.) Never bet against the Harlem Globetrotters, even if you think the Generals are due.
4.) You shouldn’t be scared of Monster Island, it’s just a name…
It’s actually more of a peninsula.
5.) If you’re trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube, remember to make use of your main finger and to spin the middle side topwise.
6.) Highways are full of ghost cars.
7.) Sometimes, a sandwich can take a bite out of you!
8.) There’s just something about flying a kite at night that’s so unwholesome…
9.) The NSA has been spying us for longer than we realize…
10.) All of the chimps that NASA sent into space came back super intelligent.
11.) If you’re dumb as a mule and twice as ugly and a strange man offers you a ride, I say take it!
Lousy traumatic childhood…
12.) If you believe in reincarnation, you should hope to be reborn as a butterfly. Because nobody ever suspects the butterfly.
13,) Always keep the egg heads. They just might come in handy…
14.) If you purchase a robot car, make sure you don’t buy American…
15.) If you’re feeling down, try watching some TV. It laughs with you, not at you!
16.) Never, EVER stop in the middle of a hoe down.
17.) Sometimes, just entering your name can be the most exhilarating part of a game!
18.) Good things don’t end in -eum. They end in -teria and -mania!
19.) Be wary of snowmen. They have peepers. Peepers to watch…
20.) Heed the advice that your father gives to you on your wedding day
If you ever travel back in time don’t step on anything! The tiniest change can alter the future in ways we couldn’t imagine!
21.) Never assume just because somebody happens to be African American that they’re automatically good at basketball.