What ‘The Simpsons’ Have Taught Us About Life

simpsons-sofa

The Simpsons have taught us many, many things but these are the top things that I’ve learned…

1.) Old people ARE the grim specter of death

death

2.) Always, always drink plenty of MALK

malk

 3.) Never disband the PTA (too dangerous)

PTA

4.)    Bread does in fact contain gym mats

qdmAAgd

5.)    AURORA BORREALIS CAN LOCALIZE ENTIRELY WITHIN YOUR KITCHEN!

aurora-borealis

6.)    A dental plan is an absolute must…

TJsPQ

7.)    Smoking cigarettes is incredibly sexy.

1pattyselma

8.)    If you’re from upstate New York you refer to hamburgers as “STEAMED HAMS” (unless you’re from Utica)

steamed-hams-300x218

9.)    Colored chalk will lead to independent thought alarms AND WAS FORGED BY LUCIFER HIMSELF!

colored chalk

10.) There’s no such thing as drinking alone, as long as the lord is present!

drinkalone

11.)  You always send flowers to someones grave even if they are still alive

sending flowers to grave

12.) Coming down, does in fact render someone speechless

cantalk

13.) NOTHING gets chocolate out!

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14.) People who stay stupid shit should be handed a red ball to bounce immediately

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15.) Always vet your valentines, you could inadvertently send the wrong message!

choose

16.)  Computers do have the internet now

theyhaveinternetoncomputersnow

17.) Operators know the number for 911

9111

18.) if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.

ifyoudontlikeyourjob(rightone)

19.) Failing English is Unpossible!

me-fail-english-thats-unpossible_605

20.) Always speak up on the telephone when someones wearing a towel

speak up!

21.) The doctor was right, picking your nose will lead to nosebleeds.

ralph-wiggum-picking-nose

22.) Smarch has lousy weather

100413smarch

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST…..

23.) Never ever turn your back on your sugar pile! Not even for a second!

sugarpile

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