“THEY ONLY TIED THE RECORD, THEY CANT WIN ANYTHING!”
Meh. I thought it was funny.
All posts by S. Petrillo
‘How I Met Your Mother’ Season Finale Recap
OK, so alot of you fans are probably pissed off and alot of you are happy with the shows ending wrapped in a nice neat bow. Now, before I go off on my classic long winded tirades, I just have to point out that if you are a semi fan or a full blown fan of the show, YOU HAD TO SEE THAT COMING! No?? First off, in the very first episode, Ted sits his kids down to talk about how he met their mother. Clue #1: Shes dead already. Many many fans have been wildly speculating that shes been dead the whole time. Only to find out 9 years later that she is in fact DEAD. Span the entire series, (I refuse to go into season and episode detail) you see Ted constantly having run-ins with Robin. We ALL knew Ted was in love with Robin. They date, they break up, they date, they break up…. blah blah blah. Robin ends up marrying Barney, despite knowing full well that Ted is the man for her. BUT I DIGRESS. I for one, understand the people that were pissed off. Too much happened in the last episode and wasn’t properly fleshed out. They should have taken the entire season to flesh out ‘The Mother’. We saw random glimpses of her and then she dies. Which I also understand is annoying in and of itself. What is a very tragic life event OR SHOULD HAVE BEEN PORTRAYED, was swept under the rug. So lets discuss a few things:
1.) Robin and Barney get divorced: After three years of a ‘successful marriage’ the two divorce after Robin finds out that work is more important to her. *Shocking* Robin and her damn job always get in the way of relationships. Daddy issues much? Which leads me to my next point
2.) Barney becomes a DADDY!?: After 9 years, an engagement to a stripper, a marriage to Robin and countless hook-ups including the 31 broads in 31 days. The 31st broad holds the golden ticket and has a baby girl. Now, im shocked that this didn’t happen earlier! How many women can you possibly bang and not knock up ONE. Maybe the writers felt the need to end his era, but the Barney we knew has now morphed into a dad who instead of trying to bang the young girls at the bar, is scolding them for being out at the bar. Weird.
3.) Teddy gets married FINALLY: God, after the 9 years of broads we have endured with Barney, Ted finally meets the mother and weds. Thus producing the two kids we see in the beginning of the show. Looking awfully depressed listening to their father ramble on about the elusive way he met their mother. Can you imagine being stuck on a couch for 9 whole years listening to your dad aka Bob Sagets voice tell you about how he met your mother? I’d blow my brains out. BTW, Poor Bob Saget, he ALWAYS ends up the widow stuck with the kids in his television shows. You people should have seen this coming when his voice piped in on the very first episode (IS THAT BOB SAGET?! OH THE MOTHER IS SOOOO ALREADY DEAD… AINT YOU SEEN FULL HOUSE?! HAVE MERCY!)
4.) Teddys wifey Tracy is dead: Again we’ve already known this, since like day one. Well, anyone who thought about it should have known it from day one. Of course the love of Teds life has to die. OF COURSE. Thus, him telling his children the story so that they knew just how much he loved their mother.”This is a story about how you are totally in love with Aunt Robin and you are thinking of asking her out,” his daughter says. After losing their mother six years ago, the children in turn tell Teddy boy that its OKAY to go after Aunt Robin. *Cue the Violins.. or should I say Blue French Horn* The final scene shows Ted showing up to Robins house, with the blue french horn, her head out the window smiling.
SO…there you have it folks. Love it or leave it.
Pharrell Williams replaces Cee Lo Green on ‘The Voice’
As most of you people already knew, Cee Lo Green will not be returning to ‘The Voice’ this upcoming season. Taking his place, is none other than Pharrell Williams and his giant hat. Pharrell has had an incredible past year in the music industry, with his song ‘Happy’ earning an Oscar nod for the ‘Despicable Me’ soundtrack, and his Grammy winning collaboration with Daft Punk song ‘Get Lucky’.
Pharrell is no stranger to the show, as he performed ‘Blurred Lines’ with Robin Thicke. He was also a guest mentor to Usher and his team during season four of the show.
“I am thrilled to have Pharrell come back to ‘The Voice’ family, and this time … as a coach,” executive producer Mark Burnett said. “Continuing in ‘The Voice’ tradition of having the biggest and most current music stars as coaches, Pharrell fits perfectly.”
Pharrell has been around for ions, if you didn’t live under a damn rock. Pharrell and Chad Hugo make up the record production duo The Neptunes. He is also the lead vocalist and drummer of rock, funk, and hip hop band N.E.R.D. which he formed with Hugo and Shay Haley. He released his debut solo album ‘In My Mind’ in 2006. His second album, ‘G I R L’ was released on March 3, 2014. Williams has earned seven Grammys, including two with The Neptunes.
G I R L…COME ON GET HAPPY!
Song of the Day 4/1/14
The Milk Carton Kids- “The Ash & Clay”. I know it doesn’t get your toes to tapping, but its nice to relax every once in awhile. Enjoy!
Random Simpsons Screencap of the Day 4/1/14
Bart: OH NO I CAN’T SEE IM BLIND! IM BLIND!
Homer: AH HA APRIL FOOLS!
Song of the Day 3/28/14
Say hello to Son Little aka Aaron Livingston. Get used to him. Hes gunna be around for a long time.
Danny Brown performs on Arsenio Hall
Dont let me get into ma ZONNNEEEE!!!! Danny Brown performed on Arsenio Hall a couple nights ago. I KNOW I KNOW we are so late to this news. As Katt Williams says, “we got bills n shit”.
Brown delivered a crazy performance of Old‘s “Dip.” Danny was in full hype mode, newly coiffed green tipped hair (he did that for his birthday), singing about his love for dipping MDMA. He also sat down with Arsenio Hall and talked about his love of his tooth “NAHHH I MEAN THE GIRLS LIKE IT!”, and his love for Kathy Griffin. “It’s something about a woman with a sense of humor that really turns me on,” he said. “You want to be able to have fun with your girl too instead of being serious all the time. And Kathy Griffin is a lady that I think I could have a lot of fun with.” He also went on to say he likes them “white women with the junk in the trunk.”
Danny also talked about his love of rap since Kindergarten. Instead of having a show and tell assignment he decided since he didn’t have “anything to show OR tell” he just started rapping. When prompted by Arsenio about what a Kindergartener would even rap about, he said “Oh you know dope, killing people…” I just love Danny….
*CUE THAT SIGNATURE LAUGH*
Bill Murray golfs in PBR Pants
Again… I just have NO WORDS for this outfit. Has this man lost his mind?! Actually…. truthfully speaking, when did Bill Murray ever have his mind? Im just gunna go with it. Those pants are AWESOME. He just didn’t coordinate it well with the zip up. Who makes such lovely pants and then doesn’t create a jacket to go with it? I mean, lets be honest here. Imagine the WHOLE ensemble.
Vince Wilfork Signs Three Year, $22.5 Contract
Fans began panicking when word spread that Vince Wilfork and the Patriots were no longer going to be an item. Rumors swirled of him trashing his locker, packing up his possessions, and ripping off his name plate as well. But rest easy my little Patriots fans, Vince Wilfork and the New England Patriots finally found a deal that worked for both sides. (ALL YOU HATERS CAN TAKE BACK YOUR ANTI-WILFORK COMMENTS NOW)
“Wilfork can earn up to $8 million in 2014 as part of the extension, and the Patriots got some cap relief. Wilfork’s new contract is reportedly a one-year deal with $3 million guaranteed and a two-year option. That allows the Patriots to spread out Wilfork’s cap hit over the next three years without the risk of signing him to a longterm deal — the defensive tackle’s contract is not guaranteed after 2014.”
The Patriots get their defensive leader back (ALTHOUGH YOU CLOWNS DON’T DESERVE HIM). Wilfork is still recovering from a torn Achilles that took him out last year, so it’s not guaranteed that he will be back for training camp let alone even the start of the season. It’s likely there are playing-time incentives in Wilfork’s contract that protect the Patriots if he can’t get back on the field, because they are after all the penny pinching Patriots.
Vince…..its time to go clean up your locker, put your name plate back on and go sit in the corner and think about your actions! That was NOT the Patriot way!
Artist dresses up like real-life Marge Simpson
An artist dressed up like the real-life Marge Simpson, and I uhhhh, there.. are… NO… words. Im terrified.
Aaaah! Bogeyman! You nail the windows shut, I’ll get the gun! Bart, I don’t wanna alarm you but there may be a boogeyman or boogeymen in the house!
What I've Learned This Week 